// how quickly a season of plenty and blessing can become a season of waiting and trial and trusting. may my faith be just as strong in the latter season as it was in the former - it is well with my soul.”

this was the facebook status update i shared almost a month ago.  circumstances had quickly turned in my life from what i perceived to be the Lord just pouring out blessings to Him taking them back quickly.  a month later, i am still in this season of waiting, learning what it means to praise the Lord when he takes away all over again.  these periods are dark.  they are hard.  they are incredibly lonely.  they are very quiet.  they are very much like the desert.  difficult to thrive.  dry.  empty.

so, in the midst of this desert season, i found myself growing desperate.  impatient.  depressed.  miserable.  needing so badly to hear from the Lord and be revived.  i opened my Bible and turned straight to psalm 119, which is exactly what i needed.  (i love when the Lord guides me through His scriptures!)

now, psalm 119 is a long one (176 verses is no light reading!) but is so full of truth and promise for sheep wandering through desert seasons.

“how blessed are those whose way is blameless,

who walk in the law of the Lord.

how blessed are those who observe His testimonies,

who seek Him with all their heart.”

so i’ve heard this principle over and over - “seek Him with all your heart” - but for some reason, it meant something different this time.  while i am in the midst of this season.  those are blessed who actively pursue after the Lord.  not just in seasons of plenty.  not just after His blessings.  but in the desert.  they are pursuing, running, that they may know more of the Lord.  they desire His character.  to gaze upon His face.  and they fight for it.  their pursuit is active.  it is fervent.  and even in the desert seasons they are full.  when the Lord has taken all away, they are not empty.  they are not desperate or lonely.  they are full and blessed.

“oh that my ways may be established to keep your statutes!”

i wrote this down as i read that verse: “bind my wandering heart to Thee, remind me of Your character constantly, that i may quickly remember that You are good whether you are giving or taking away.”

over and over in this passage, the phrase “revive me” is repeated.  ”deliver me” - “save me” - “redeem me.”  so often that it reminded me of ephesians 5:14 - “wake up, oh sleeper, and arise from the dead and Christ will shine on you.”  i remember a few years ago i was reading through revelation, and the first part of 3:2 really struck me, so i wrote it on an index card and taped it to the ceiling above my bunk bed in my dorm.  “wake up and strengthen what is about to die.”  when you are in the seasons of desert and waiting and trial and trusting, GET UP!  you must be active and fervent and you will be strengthened and full and blessed.

one of my favorite verses in this passage, verse 71, says it beautifully.  “it is good for me that i was afflicted, that i may learn your statutes.”  just a few verses later, it reminds us, “may those who fear You see me and be glad, because I wait for your word.  i know, oh Lord, that your judgments are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.”

in these periods of desert, we can learn the voice of the Lord.  we get to know His will.  one of my favorite professors, ben gutierrez, was teaching from luke 15 in my evangelism + christian life class my first semester at liberty.  telling the story of the lost sheep, he pointed out verse 5 which says, “when he has found [the lost sheep], he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.”  gutierrez told us that when a sheep repeatedly went astray, the shepherd would break its legs, leaving it unable to walk.  then, the shepherd would carry the sheep on his shoulders until its legs were healed.  this would be a period of weeks, maybe months, where the sheep was constantly on his shoulders.  in that time, the sheep would learn its master’s scent and the rhythm of his heartbeat so that once its legs were healed, the sheep would walk so closely to the shepherd’s feet that he would trip over it.

it is good for us to be afflicted so that we are forced to learn our Master’s scent and His voice and the rhythm of His heartbeat.  it’s in these seasons that we fall in love with the Lord’s character all over again.  it’s in these seasons that we realize how little of Him we know.  it’s these seasons that increase our fervency in our pursuit to know Him.

psalm 119 ends with this plea, and what a beautiful tie into that passage in luke 15: “i have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant.”  a plea asking the Lord to break us so that He can revive us.  a plea that teaches us to bless the Lord in plenty or in want, and allows us to be full and blessed even when He takes all away.

it seems to be that all of my time spent with the Lord recently has been for him to remind me of who he is.  and it is a good reminder.  and it is also frustrating how easily i forget these things.

a good friend of mine just started a bible study, and we are working through john 1 to study who God is and what our response should be to that.

and this morning in church, we talked about God’s word and what our response should be to it.
this theme just keeps repeating in my life - and i have come to accept that it is so encouraging to see him continually revealing himself to me in my life.

last night, in my personal time with the Lord, i began journaling truths from his scripture that reveal who he is.  i definitely encourage you to just sit down for thirty minutes and jot down every word you can think of to describe the Lord - it is such a reminder of his power and his faithfulness!

JESUS.  the most beautiful name that i know.  you are good.  you are holy.  you are so worthy of every breath of praise i could utter for the rest of eternity - and even that would not be near enough.  you are glorious.  you are majestic.  you are beauty unimagined.  you are constant.  you never change.  you are victorious.  you are light.  you reveal yourself to us.  you are with us.  you never let go.  your love never fails.  you never disappoint.  you do not fail.  you are great.  you are jealous.  you are near.  you are strong.  you are wise.  you’re the author of salvation.  you are mighty to save.  you’re our defense.  you’re my ever-present help in times of trouble.  you call us children.  you make all things work together for my good.  you love me.  you think of me.  you created me.  you were in the beginning.  you will be in the end.  you are joy.  you are goodness.  your nearness is my good.  you don’t give up on me.  you know me.  you have a plan for me.  you are gracious and merciful.  you alone can rescue.  you melt the heart of stone.  you set the captives free.  you are amazing.  you’re wondrous.  you are our provider.  you see us.  you heal.  you paid my debt.  you’re the giver of life.  you are full of grace and truth.  you are just.  you dwelt among us.  you give us eternal life.  you’re my refuge.  you sustain me.  you are a shield about me.  you’re my glory.  you are the lifter of my head.  you are infinite and you are intimate.  you are mystery.  you hear me.  and you answer me.  you are peace.  you shelter us.  you are miraculous.  you abide forever.  you are pure.  you are so very faithful.  you rejoice over me with singing.  you intercede for me.  you have dealt bountifully with me.  you are my Lord.  i have no good besides you.  you are my portion.  you are my inheritance.  you have counseled me.  you’ve hidden me in the shadow of your wings.  you’re my rock.  you are my shield.  you’re the horn of my salvation.  you are my stronghold.  you are powerful.  you are mighty.  you have saved me.  you light my lamp.  you rescued me, because you delighted in me.  you redeemed me.  you are righteous.  you’re our sacrificial lamb.  you conquered death.  you are shepherd.  you guide us.  you lead us.  you guard me.  you fight for me.  you are compassionate.  you are hope.  you are forgiving.  YOU ARE ENOUGH.  all praise and honor and glory be to your great name.  be lifted higher, amen.

i think one of the main things the Lord was teaching me through this was that even if only one of these was true, he would be enough.  and even after spending half an hour digging through his word for bits of truth about who he is, i didn't even scratch the surface.

may this encourage your heart as it has encouraged mine this week.

Derek Webb wrote a song entitled “Wedding Dress” in which he compares Christians who seek fulfillment in things outside of Christ to a person committing adultery. 

The first time I heard it, I found the language a tad inappropriate for the church and the metaphors a bit harsh, but the Lord has really been speaking to my heart on this very issue. 

I know personally I often wonder why my lifestyle isn’t attracting more lost souls to a saving relationship with the Almighty God - but taking a step back I have realized that when we as God-seeking Christians don’t live our lives in a way that show we are seeking God, the lost see us as hypocrites - and as harsh as it may be, I would have to agree with Webb in stating that this lifestyle we live can be compared to that of a prostitute or an adulterer.. 

When we claim the love of Christ, yet are not living it out - we are essentially selling a bit of ourselves to the pleasures of the world. 

We are described as the bride of Christ, so I wonder why we don’t treat our relationship with Him as we would a marriage? Why don’t we demonstrate the faithfulness we would in an earthly unity with another in our heavenly marriage? Why is it so easy to forsake our first love, and in turn committing adultery in our relationship with God? 

In the book of Hosea, God explains to the young prophet that He is going to be married to Gomer, a woman who is going to be unfaithful to him to the point of becoming a sort of street prostitute. Hosea trusts the Lord and ends up having three children, whom God names Jezreel (‘Cast-away’), Loruhamah (‘Not pitied’), and Loammi (‘Not my people.’) Gomer begins prostituting herself, adulterating her marriage with Hosea. She ends up in a bad situation - and Hosea SEEKS AFTER HER. He finds her, and tells the man that he is her husband, taking her and giving her food and taking care of his wife. 

This may seem crazy to us, because most of us would not be this faithful. But don’t forget.. “LOVE is patient and it is kind. It is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant. It does not act unbecomingly, does not seek its own and is not provoked. It does not take into account a wrong suffered, and does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 

Even though Gomer was unfaithful, Hosea was. The same with our God. Even when we are unfaithful and adulterate our relationship with Him, He is ever faithful. 2 Timothy 2:13 reminds us, “[Even] if we have no faith, He will still be faithful for He cannot go against what He is.” We can find forgiveness and grace in our ever-faithful God, regardless of how we may tarnish and prostitute ourselves. (Praise God!) 

But this thought remains, WHY do we act in such a way in the first place when we have a relationship with such a FAITHFUL and GOOD God, and what are we portraying to the world in such a lifestyle? As I said before, we are described as the bride of Christ, so why we don’t treat our relationship with Him as we would a marriage? Why don’t we demonstrate the faithfulness we would in an earthly unity with another in our heavenly marriage? 

I would like to challenge not only myself, but my brothers and sisters, to begin LIVING OUT THE HOPE WE CLAIM WE HAVE and begin LOVING WITH THE LOVE WE EXPERIENCE. 

Why is it so easy for us to say we KNOW the Lord is good and we KNOW He is faithful, but then it is so hard for us to trust Him?

Why is it so easy for us to say we LOVE our brothers and sisters, but then at the same time it is so easy to point the finger and harshly criticize and judge them? 

Why is it so easy for us to say how much we LOVE our relationship with God and how THANKFUL we are for it, but we rarely TALK about it and SHARE it with those whose souls are dying? 

Why is it so easy for us to talk about how we have intimacy with the Lord, but it is a completely different thing to actually honestly and genuinely EXPERIENCE that intimacy? 

Why is it so easy for us to say that we find our joy in HIM, but then we go out and get wasted or high to numb the pain, or even worse we compromise our convictions to satisfy our flesh? 

It doesn’t make any sense at all, does it? THIS is why our world is dying. THIS is the love we tell them about, but don’t show them. THIS is the Christ they see. 

Now please don’t get me wrong. I’m not simply judging or trying to call anyone out. I’m just as guilty as any of you on this. I’m just saying we’ve gotta CHANGE something if we want there to be a DIFFERENCE. 

We’ve gotta start really LOVING. 

Really HELPING. 

Really HURTING. 

Really CARING. 

Really PRAYING. 

Really LIVING out this FAITH we claim.

Because until we do, things won’t change. 

The world will still hate the church for the hypocrites. 

The people around us will still be hurting. 

The lost will still be dying. 

Brothers and sisters, we’ve gotta CHANGE our own lives so that we can CHANGE the world..

I’ve been reading in Jeremiah for a while now (as you can probably guess by my previous blog post), and I just can’t get over the amazing truths I have found in this precious book.  

In chapter 3, there is, unfortunately, so much truth in the picture painted in these verses:

God says, “If a husband divorces his wife
And she goes from him
And belongs to another man,
Will he still return to her?
Will not that land be completely polluted?
But you are a harlot with many lovers;
Yet you turn to Me,” declares the Lord.

‘Return, faithless Israel,’ declares the Lord;
‘I will not look upon you in anger.
For I am gracious,’ declares the Lord.
…”Return, O faithless sons,
I will heal your faithlessness.”

While reading this, I was immediately reminded of the story of Hosea and Gomer - and knowing that the way Gomer treated Hosea is exactly how I treat my amazing God.  I am continually living in spiritual prostitution - even after I have been freed from it.  God is my groom, waiting patiently for His bride to return - ever loving, ever patient, ever true to His bride - even when she is unfaithful.

I just love what the Lord says to Hosea in chapter 3 - He tells him to go again and love Gomer, even though she is unfaithful - and even though she may be unfaithful again, he is to go again and love her.  Then, the most beautiful part - “So I bought her.”  He had to not even go after her after she betrayed him, Hosea had to purchase her - and he did.  Because even though she was not faithful to him, Hosea was so faithful to Gomer.

In chapter 2 of Hosea, we see a beautiful picture of the Lord’s unwavering, loving gaze on His bride.

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
Bring her into the wilderness
And speak kindly to her.
‘Then I will give her her vineyards from there,
And the valley of Achor as a door of hope.
And she will sing there as in the days of her youth,
As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.
“It will come about in that day,” declares the Lord,
“That you will call Me Ishi (my husband)
And you will no longer call Me Baali (my master)
…”In that day I will also make a covenant for them
…And I will abolish the bow, the sword and war from the land,
And will make them lie down in safety.
“I will betroth you to Me forever;
Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice,
In lovingkindness and in compassion,
And I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness.
Then you will know the Lord.” 

How.  Amazing.  The Lord not only continues to love us when we are unfaithful, but he rescues us and redeems us from the lovers less wild we choose for ourselves.  He purchases us from the life we live - He frees us so that we can enter into this amazing romance with Him.  

What an incredible thought as I venture off into the unknown for the next week and a half.  And how precious that I can come before my God and call Him Ishi.  My husband.  My eternal love.  The keeper of my heart.  I am His and He is mine.  The Lord has bought me with an overwhelming love and desires to share the most precious and redeeming relationship with me - what have I to be afraid of? 

Lately, I have really been loving the Old Testament minor prophets - the Lord has been leading me there in my times with Him, and I have been learning so very much.

This morning, I was reading in Micah, and was reminded of some amazing promises from my God.

“With what shall I come to the Lord
And bow myself before the God on high?
Shall I come to Him with burnt offerings,
With yearling calves?
Does the Lord take delight in thousands of rams,
In ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I present my firstborn for my rebellious acts,
The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God? 

(Micah 6:6-8)

Gosh.  That last part just strikes me.  ”What does the Lord require of you but to…walk humbly with your God?”  WITH your God.  How precious is that?!  And if the thought of walking WITH God isn’t humbling enough, I don’t know what is.  That is just an amazing thought to me.  That not only would God come and prepare the way for us, and call us to do justice and love kindness, but that He walks WITH us?!

“But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord;
I will wait for the God of my salvation.
My God will hear me.
Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy.
Though I fall I will rise;
Though I dwell in darkness, the Lord is a light for me.”

(Micah 7:7)

I just love the power in this verse.  I will watch and wait for the Lord - and He will hear me!  The enemy cannot rejoice because the Lord is my light.  There is so much victory and power right here just waiting for us to stand up and claim it!

“Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity
And passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possessions?
He does not retain His anger forever,
Because He delights in unchanging love.
He will again have compassion on us;
He will tread our iniquities under foot.
Yes, You will cast all their sins
Into the depths of the sea.”

(Micah 7:18-19) 

We lie.  He will again have compassion on us.  We cheat.  He will again have compassion on us.  We steal.  He will again have compassion on us.  We kill.  He will again have compassion on us.  We lust.  He will again have compassion on us.  We forget our first love.  And He will again have compassion on us.

My heart is so encouraged this day from these promises in Micah.  Are you not uplifted by this reminder of God’s power and compassion on your own life?

Praying for you today, my brothers and sisters.

If you’re anything like me, you tend to worry.  About school, about work, about money, about relationships, about not being in a relationship, about your friend’s relationships, etc.  You just worry.  Things are not in your control and they are not going the way you’d like.  You lose sleep at night.  You stay tired because you’re always worrying.

I’ve been reading through the Old Testament recently, and I came across this in Genesis 22.  It’s the story of Abraham and Isaac.  A man of God following so closely after the Lord that he was willing to sacrifice him because the Lord asked him to.  And when the Lord saw his faith, he spared Abraham’s precious son and provided a ram for the sacrifice.

I’m sure you’ve heard it - I’d heard it many times.  But it continues.  And this is my favorite part.

“Abraham called the name of that place The Lord Will Provide, as it is said to this day, ‘In the mount of the Lord it will be provided.’”

Oh, I just love that.  Abraham did not follow God that day knowing his son would be spared.  He was prepared to sacrifice him in order to follow the God that he loved.  The Lord spared Isaac and provided for Abraham, yes - but this man of faith did not have that promise to walk in before it was granted.

We are promised, time and time again, in the Scriptures that God will provide for His own.  If the sparrows have food, the Lord will take care of us.  He knows each of the countless stars by name and lifts us up on wings like eagles.  He provides.  He has always provided and will always provide.

It is with great humility that I look at this passage, and then look at my own lack of faith in my worrying.  Sure, what you’re worrying about may be a huge deal - say you need $800 for a bill that’s due tomorrow - but God will provide.

Jehovah Jireh - God our PROVIDER.  It’s His NAME.  What a cool thing to sit back, TRUST, and realize providing isn’t just something He does - it’s who He is.

May you find some peace + freedom from the worry in your life today.

So all summer, this has been my anthem.  My prayer.  My reminder.  And my hope.

I just looked up the Message translation tonight and I love it so much!

The Lord sent me this Word at a time where I was second-guessing my place on my mission team and questioning myself as well.  Who am I to go share good news with these people when I sometimes have such a hard time having faith myself?

Here is what the Lord said to me:

“Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you.  Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you:  A prophet to the nations - that’s what I had in mind for you.”  But I said, “Hold it, Master God!  Look at me.  I don’t know anything.  I’m only a boy!”  God told me, “Don’t say, ‘I’m only a boy.’  I’ll tell you where to go and you’ll go there.  I’ll tell you what to say and you’ll say it.  Don’t be afraid of a soul.  I’ll be right there, looking after you.”  God reached out, touched my mouth, and said, “Look!  I’ve just put my words in your mouth - hand-delivered!  See what I’ve done?  I’ve given you a job to do among nations and governments - a red-letter day!  Your job is to pull up and tear down, take apart and demolish, and then start over, building and planting.”

How amazing!  The Lord spoke right to my very core, hitting my biggest fears right between the eyes.  I was so humbled that I serve THIS God - who answers our prayers and makes Himself very much known to us.

Be encouraged by THIS God today.  He is right there, looking after you - in whatever He is calling you to do.  He has gone before you and prepared the way - so just follow Him.  Take it one step at a time, hope in Him, and have a little faith in the One who holds the world in His hands.