// how quickly a season of plenty and blessing can become a season of waiting and trial and trusting. may my faith be just as strong in the latter season as it was in the former - it is well with my soul.”
this was the facebook status update i shared almost a month ago. circumstances had quickly turned in my life from what i perceived to be the Lord just pouring out blessings to Him taking them back quickly. a month later, i am still in this season of waiting, learning what it means to praise the Lord when he takes away all over again. these periods are dark. they are hard. they are incredibly lonely. they are very quiet. they are very much like the desert. difficult to thrive. dry. empty.
so, in the midst of this desert season, i found myself growing desperate. impatient. depressed. miserable. needing so badly to hear from the Lord and be revived. i opened my Bible and turned straight to psalm 119, which is exactly what i needed. (i love when the Lord guides me through His scriptures!)
now, psalm 119 is a long one (176 verses is no light reading!) but is so full of truth and promise for sheep wandering through desert seasons.
“how blessed are those whose way is blameless,
who walk in the law of the Lord.
how blessed are those who observe His testimonies,
who seek Him with all their heart.”
so i’ve heard this principle over and over - “seek Him with all your heart” - but for some reason, it meant something different this time. while i am in the midst of this season. those are blessed who actively pursue after the Lord. not just in seasons of plenty. not just after His blessings. but in the desert. they are pursuing, running, that they may know more of the Lord. they desire His character. to gaze upon His face. and they fight for it. their pursuit is active. it is fervent. and even in the desert seasons they are full. when the Lord has taken all away, they are not empty. they are not desperate or lonely. they are full and blessed.
“oh that my ways may be established to keep your statutes!”
i wrote this down as i read that verse: “bind my wandering heart to Thee, remind me of Your character constantly, that i may quickly remember that You are good whether you are giving or taking away.”
over and over in this passage, the phrase “revive me” is repeated. ”deliver me” - “save me” - “redeem me.” so often that it reminded me of ephesians 5:14 - “wake up, oh sleeper, and arise from the dead and Christ will shine on you.” i remember a few years ago i was reading through revelation, and the first part of 3:2 really struck me, so i wrote it on an index card and taped it to the ceiling above my bunk bed in my dorm. “wake up and strengthen what is about to die.” when you are in the seasons of desert and waiting and trial and trusting, GET UP! you must be active and fervent and you will be strengthened and full and blessed.
one of my favorite verses in this passage, verse 71, says it beautifully. “it is good for me that i was afflicted, that i may learn your statutes.” just a few verses later, it reminds us, “may those who fear You see me and be glad, because I wait for your word. i know, oh Lord, that your judgments are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.”
in these periods of desert, we can learn the voice of the Lord. we get to know His will. one of my favorite professors, ben gutierrez, was teaching from luke 15 in my evangelism + christian life class my first semester at liberty. telling the story of the lost sheep, he pointed out verse 5 which says, “when he has found [the lost sheep], he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.” gutierrez told us that when a sheep repeatedly went astray, the shepherd would break its legs, leaving it unable to walk. then, the shepherd would carry the sheep on his shoulders until its legs were healed. this would be a period of weeks, maybe months, where the sheep was constantly on his shoulders. in that time, the sheep would learn its master’s scent and the rhythm of his heartbeat so that once its legs were healed, the sheep would walk so closely to the shepherd’s feet that he would trip over it.
it is good for us to be afflicted so that we are forced to learn our Master’s scent and His voice and the rhythm of His heartbeat. it’s in these seasons that we fall in love with the Lord’s character all over again. it’s in these seasons that we realize how little of Him we know. it’s these seasons that increase our fervency in our pursuit to know Him.
psalm 119 ends with this plea, and what a beautiful tie into that passage in luke 15: “i have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant.” a plea asking the Lord to break us so that He can revive us. a plea that teaches us to bless the Lord in plenty or in want, and allows us to be full and blessed even when He takes all away.
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